Aftercare bdsm involves physical and emotional care-taking. It can help both partners readopt their day-to-day roles after an intense kink scene. It also helps prevent Dom drop and subdrop.
For example, after a bondage session, Doms might massage their sub to ease muscle tension. In addition, they may use cold compresses to reduce bruising. They might also offer verbal reassurance.
It’s not just for subs
Aftercare is something that is often overlooked when it comes to BDSM, but it’s crucial to the success of both Dom and sub. This is a step that requires forethought and discussion and can be a great way to test compatibility between partners. For example, if a sub wants to use safewords during a scene, it’s important that their Dom understands the importance of this and is willing to respect it.
During the most intense BDSM scenes, both parties can experience an adrenaline rush and an endorphin boost. After a scene, both people need to come down from this high, and aftercare can help with that. For subs, it can include a variety of things like massages, cuddles, and playing music together. For doms, it can be more complicated and involve reorienting themselves back to their day-to-day roles with their sub.
The biggest aspect of aftercare for subs is ensuring they feel cared for. They want to be told they did a good job and that their Dom thinks highly of them. This is especially important if the scene involved spanking or other impact play because subs can sometimes experience “Sub-Drop” in the hours and even days after a session. It’s vital for the Dom to be there to prevent this and communicate effectively with their sub.
It’s not just for doms
While doms and subs both need aftercare, it is often perceived as something only the sub needs. Many people assume that the infamous ‘sub-drop’ that occurs after a scene is caused by a lack of emotional support from their Dom, and it can be difficult for subs to ask for help. This is a mistake. Doms can help to cushion the effect of a sub-drop by offering aftercare and reassuring them that they are safe.
Providing aftercare can be as simple as helping your sub shower or taking them to the bathroom afterwards. It can also involve massage and cuddling. For example, the Dom can rub lotion on limbs that are sore from bondage play or massage and soothe marks left on the body by whips and other implements. This can be an opportunity for Doms to communicate their love and care, and it is a good idea to have a first-aid kit handy in case of any injuries.
Doms can also give their subs a glass of water to drink and help them to straighten things up and put away toys and implements. They can also offer to have their subs perform oral sex, which is not only a great form of aftercare, but it is also a powerful way to build intimacy and reinforce connection. Doms can also take their subs out for a meal or a movie after a kink session.
It’s not just for one-night stands
While aftercare is often associated with kink play, it can be important for anyone who engages in intimate and/or intense experiences. For example, even if you’re having a one-night stand with someone who’s incredibly hot and you have fun together, you might want to spend some time debriefing afterwards to make sure you’re both happy with the experience.
During sexual or intimate activities, hormones like adrenaline and oxytocin skyrocket and then drop just as fast. When you’re not careful, this can lead to a lot of emotional turmoil. This is why aftercare is so important. It helps you cope with the euphoria of sex and allows for an easy transition back into your daily life.
There are many different types of aftercare. Some people might wash each other’s body, have pillow talk or cuddle for a while. Others might take a nice, long shower or bath. Other examples might include eating a meal or reading to each other. Some people might even need to take a nap. It all depends on what both doms and subs need.
It’s also important to communicate with your partner after a scene about what they need from you. Asking what they need from you can help prevent post-coital disphoria, which is a common problem after sex. Having the right conversation can help you feel more confident in your role and can make for an even more exciting experience next time.
It’s not just for couples
Aftercare is a vital part of kinky sex. It helps people transition back into reality from the blissful headspace of sexual pleasure and BDSM play. It also combats Dom/sub drop, the uncomfortable physical and emotional low that can occur after a kinky scene. This is why it’s important that everyone knows about and engages in aftercare, whether they’re a kinkster or not.
Aftercare involves anything that makes a partner feel cared for after an intense sexual experience. It can include anything from cuddling to taking a bath together. It’s a way for partners to bond and connect, while also restoring their energy levels. Oftentimes, aftercare involves a discussion about the scene that just happened to determine how each person felt and what needs to be addressed in the future.
During a BDSM scene, a dominant may put their submissive into “subspace,” a state that resembles being drunk or high. This state is caused by the surge of endorphins and oxytocin that’s released during a session or play. It can be difficult for a sub to revert back into normality after a BDSM scene, especially when they’ve been subjected to humiliation or sexual torture.
To help a submissive avoid subdrop, the dominant should reassure them that what happened in the bedroom isn’t how they see them outside of it. They should also show them physical affection like kissing and hugging to reaffirm their power in the relationship.
