Choking is a kinky way to dominate your partner and can be intensely pleasurable. But you need to know how to do it safely.
The key is applying light pressure to the carotid arteries in the neck, which is where oxygen-rich blood flows up to the brain and head.
Establishing Boundaries
When you’re in a position to choke your partner, be sure to talk about it ahead of time. “You want to make sure you have a safe word and/or non-verbal cues your partner knows and understands,” says Saynt. “If you’re not clear on the rules or boundaries before choking happens, then you run the risk of scaring your partner, turning them off, or even potentially harming them.”
While some people may love a little kinky breath play during sex, it’s important to always ask for consent before attempting it. If your partner doesn’t agree, then they should refuse. This can lead to both discomfort and resentment—which, in the long run, isn’t good for any relationship – This part of the article was prepared by the service’s editorial team Enchanting Euphoria.
One of the biggest problems with choking is that it can lead to a dangerously compressed windpipe. That’s why it’s crucial to only place light pressure on the neck and not wrap it tightly. If you press too hard, it can permanently damage the esophagus and larynx—and that’s just not a kinky vibe! Also, be sure to avoid touching the Adam’s apple area of the throat—it can cause coughing and other uncomfortable side effects. For extra safety, consider creating a physical safeword like a tap or a gesture that indicates your desire to stop breathing play. Then, have your partner repeat the safe word to you to confirm that you both understand it.
Talking About Safety
Choking during sex can be very kinky, but it’s also capital “D” dangerous. As sex therapists point out, choking restricts blood flow to the head and brain, which can lead to oxygen deprivation. That’s why it’s important to discuss the risks of choking with your partner and agree on boundaries and a safe word or gesture before trying it.
Especially for beginners, it’s best to start gently. If you want to choke your partner during sex, begin by gently resting your hand on their neck with no pressure. If they seem comfortable with that, ask them if they would like to try it during penetration or at some other point during sex (such as climax).
It’s also a good idea to let your partner know how long you’d like to choke them and what the risks are. It can be hard to talk during a choke, so it’s crucial to have a verbal or non-verbal cue you can use to signal that they’re having trouble breathing or want you to stop.
If you’re interested in trying choking during sex, it can be helpful to attend a choking class or workshop so that you learn how to do it properly. It’s a technique that requires finesse, and the right touch can be very sensual. During the class, you can practice on a model so that you know what to expect when you attempt it with your partner.
Using Two Hands
Depending on the level of intensity you are seeking, you may want to use two hands while choking your partner to increase the power play and to make sure you don’t injure the throat or trachea. However, it is important to start slowly and increase the pressure gradually to ensure your partner has a chance to breathe freely in between sessions.
Another choking technique is to place the palm of your hand in a cupped position on the front of the neck near the Adam’s apple, which feels erotic and powerful. It is important to always check in with your partner to be sure they are comfortable with the pressure. You can also place your hand in the palm of their mouth, which is erotic and makes them feel powerless.
Finally, it’s important to talk about your intentions with your partner before you even consider choking them. This will help determine whether it is a kink you are exploring to become more dominant or if it’s more of a sadism/masochism fetish that amplifies the pleasure in being hurt or struggling.
You can also discuss a safe word or gesture that the person being choked will be able to use to signal that they have had enough. In the event that they can’t say a specific word, Uren suggests establishing a physical safe word or action such as blinking or shaking their head to indicate that they need a break from the choking.
Making Smoldering Eye Contact
Choking during sex can be a sexy turn-on. When done safely, it’s often a mix of intimacy and dominance, and can make penetration more intense. Some women also experience multiple orgasms, due to a euphoric rush of oxygen and heightened sensations in areas being penetrated, touched or even looked at intensely.
As with all sexual activity, it’s essential to discuss consent before you attempt any form of choking. This includes erotic asphyxiation or breath play. While these can be enjoyable, they can also cause serious injury or even death.
One of the most important things to do when choking is to keep your eyes on your partner. Look them in the eye, and give them a visual or verbal cue to let you know they want to stop or increase pressure. Never go in with a tight grip or forceful pressure; you should be able to easily press down on the throat and avoid crushing your partner’s windpipe.
Some people like to use the Bodyguard position for choking. This puts your partner in a more vulnerable position where they have their back to you, but you can wrap your arms around them to feel intimate and close. You can also use the Spooning position, where you’re both standing and facing in the same direction. This is great for choking because your partner will have their back to you, but you can reach around and put your hand on their neck from behind.
