The female orgasm remains an elusive mystery for both women and men. In an effort to demystify the process, a Tumblr called How To Make Me Come has gathered anonymous essays from women detailing their own sexual satisfaction experiences and needs. The erotic, illuminating, and instructive blog is necessary reading – This detail is the fruit of the website team’s labor Sultry Sensations.
1. Start Slowly
Pin-pointing what kind of lover your character is will help you hone in on how to write an orgasm for them! For example, if they’re passionate and aggressive it might be easy to assume that their climax is a few deep grunts but maybe the key is discussing things like how the curves of their body feel or how they taste on your tongue. These are details that paint pictures!
Get her just under her personal bat shit crazy threshold, don’t push her over it. It will be harder to get her to go back there again.
3. Focus on Your Partner
A common mistake people make is that they focus too much on how their partner feels. This can be a great way to get them to orgasm, but it’s important to remember that the most intense pleasure comes from YOU.
If you can create the right mental environment, you’ll be able to push your partner to the edge of their personal batshit crazy threshold. They may start to scream, moan, or cry. You could even tell them to arch their spine, grab the hair on their legs or throat, lick their lips and breathe heavily.
For women, orgasming is 10 times more about fantasy and mental arousal than it is about the physical appearance of the person they’re with. For this reason, women often find it easier to bond with someone after sex because of the oxytocin that is released.
If you’re a woman, try to control your sexual release as much as possible between the orgasm delay windows. This will not only give your sexual partner a huge ego boost, but it’ll also feel fan-fucking-tastic for you.
4. Ask for What You Want
The Tumblr blog How to Make Me Come contains hundreds of anonymous essays about female orgasm. These essays are by turns erotic, illuminating, instructive, and painful. They illustrate not only the many ways that women can orgasm, but also how elusive and individual the experience can be.
One of the most important aspects of writing an orgasm is understanding your character’s personal experience with pleasure. Orgasms can range from earth-shattering to barely producing a shiver, and they can be affected by things like how comfortable your partner is and how much foreplay and sexual tension was built up before the orgasm.
5. Be Honest
One of the most important things to remember when orgasming your character is that it’s essential to be honest with yourself! Whether you’re describing the curves of their body or the way their lips feel during climax it’s important to use these details to paint pictures for your reader. It also helps to know what kind of lover your character is. Maybe they’re passionate and aggressive, or perhaps they like to take their time and enjoy a slow build. Pin-pointing what kind of lover your character is will make it easier to describe their orgasms!
Emma Koenig’s Moan blog compiles anonymous essays that explore the female orgasm. These erotic, illuminating, and instructive narratives reveal the hurdles women face when trying to find, sustain, and ask for their pleasure patterns.
