Many people find they can orgasm without porn and experience deeper sexual pleasure. It’s important to experiment with different ways to pleasure yourself. Sex toys are a great way to add sensations, adventure and excitement to your self-pleasure.
It’s also important to practice breathing into your genital area and perineum. You can do this with a guided recording or on your own.
1. Mindfulness
The idea of meditating while masturbating might seem strange at first, but it’s actually an effective way to reach orgasm without porn. Called mindful sex, or orgasmic meditation, it’s a slow and thoughtful practice that brings you back to the present moment and heightens pleasure by connecting you with your body’s sensations.
This is a great technique to try solo, or with a partner. Just like with regular meditation, you’ll focus on breath and sensation, but with a special emphasis on the pleasure center of your brain (the hypothalamus).
Porn culture often portrays sex as a frenetic sequence of rushed steps designed to reach penetration. With this mindset, it’s easy to get caught up in the objective of reaching an orgasm rather than just enjoying the experience. Mindful masturbation teaches you to focus on your pleasure, which can be more than just an orgasm and may help you develop deeper intimacy in your relationship.
Another benefit of mindful masturbation is that it can increase sex drive by stabilizing dopamine. This is important because low dopamine can make you feel less sexually desirable, even if you’re with a partner.
2. Sex Toys
Whether you shop in an online store or walk into a physical one, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by the number of vibrators, dildos, and other toys marketed toward sexual arousal. It’s also not uncommon to be unsure which is right for you—especially if this is your first time purchasing one.
As an added bonus, sex toys can be used to stimulate the body in ways that aren’t possible with hands alone. Some sex toys require no contact at all, such as wearable sex toys that are controlled from a phone and air-based sex toys that provide stimulation through the nose and mouth. Others can be used with a partner, such as butt plugs or cock rings.
If you want to try a new technique for self-pleasure, it’s helpful to have lube handy, especially if you plan on experimenting with clit-suckers or other kinky toys. A good quality lubricant can make all the difference in how pleasurable your experience will be.
In addition to sex toys, there are apps like Dipsea that offer guided arousal “meditations.” Other orgasm-inducing options include erotic podcasts and literotica. And don’t be afraid to try a “wet daydream” where you mentally fantasize your way into a climax—that can also be just as exciting!
3. Guided Visualizations
There’s been a surge in apps that offer guided “sexual meditation,” with sessions like Glow, created by actress Sayra Player and recommended by Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, charging up to $8.99 per month. And if you want to do it yourself, there’s plenty of free material on YouTube and sites like /r/GoneWildAudio and eSuccubus.
A simple technique is to try a “breath orgasm” to arouse your clitoris without physically stimulating it. Typically, this involves taking deep breaths and visualizing you on a movie screen or through your own eyes (disassociated), then you imagine yourself doing whatever it is that gets you orgasmic.
It’s a good way to explore new pleasures without porn, especially if physical stimulation isn’t possible or desirable for you. And if you’re doing it with a partner, it’s also an opportunity to talk about boundaries and set hard limits, as well as come up with a safe word.
4. Meditation
While you may think of meditation as some new-age, Zen rubbish, many people find that it works for them. Practicing mindfulness, focusing on the present moment, and doing some guided meditation (try the Calm app) can help you to calm your mind and focus your energy on the here and now, and get better at acknowledging intrusive thoughts as they come up and then letting them go.
It can also help to experiment with different ways of touching yourself when masturbating without porn. You can try licking your hands, kissing yourself, or even fingering your own vulva. You can also try touching other parts of your body that you don’t normally touch, such as your torso, neck, or inner thigh.
This can make the experience more exciting and sensual, which can increase pleasure. It can also help to release any tension or stress you’re feeling, which in turn can make you feel more arouse and give you more energy.
It’s also worth trying to work out why you are unable to orgasm. Whether it’s a lack of stimulation, too much sexual tension and anxiety, or something else entirely, it’s important to explore these issues in a safe space, which can be achieved through journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or seeking help from a professional like a sex therapist.
